This was me this evening. Sitting here thinking about the hundreds of things I should be doing, should get started on...but I just couldn't. This photo I ran across on twitter literally encapsulates my very feelings tonight. A giant burrito of melancholy. Why you might ask? It's my senior year in college, my last term of real classes before I student teach. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited to graduate and be able to have my own classroom someday! But I have all these worries and doubts floating around in my mind. What if I can't find a job? What if I have to move back in with my parents for a while?
What if I can't find even a sub job here and I have to leave my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and be long-distance again. That was painful the last time around and I have no desire to do it again. When you're 17 and only get to see your boyfriend every 3 weeks for a weekend, it's torture. He's my best friend and I can't imagine going through that again at age 20. I have a million and one things to do but all I can think of is the somewhat-near future and how uncertain it is.