Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Melancholy

This was me this evening. Sitting here thinking about the hundreds of things I should be doing, should get started on...but I just couldn't. This photo I ran across on twitter literally encapsulates my very feelings tonight. A giant burrito of melancholy. Why you might ask? It's my senior year in college, my last term of real classes before I student teach. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited to graduate and be able to have my own classroom someday! But I have all these worries and doubts floating around in my mind. What if I can't find a job? What if I have to move back in with my parents for a while? What if I can't find even a sub job here and I have to leave my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and be long-distance again. That was painful the last time around and I have no desire to do it again. When you're 17 and only get to see your boyfriend every 3 weeks for a weekend, it's torture. He's my best friend and I can't imagine going through that again at age 20. I have a million and one things to do but all I can think of is the somewhat-near future and how uncertain it is.

2 comments:

  1. Sometimes, the unknown is the best, even though it may seem like the worst since it's out of your control. Maybe there's a lot of surprises waiting for you; it's all happening for a reason. That's what I constantly remind myself when I also feel like this.

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  2. I'm having these same feelings. There are so many decisions to be made in the near future and it's unclear on what choice is the right one. The future freaks me out.

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